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One and Done

Obviously this wasn't the choice for my family, but I'm surrounded by lots of friends that are "one and done" and my bff is an only child.  I found this piece and thought it was interesting albeit, not very well written. 

Opinion: Why one isn't the lonliest number

I'm not so sure I agree with having "one child gives you freedom to live the wired existence". This gives the tone that if you have one kid you've still done your duty achieving "mom status" but now you don't have to give up so much time online".  To me there is a little bit more that goes into the decision of becoming a parent than that.

I think she brings up other interesting points article.  Lauren Sandler writes, "One of the central myths of America is that we can engineer a life without tradeoffs."  I completely agree with this.  Even the choice to just have one child puts a woman in the position to start evaluating her lists and seeing where things need to be rearranged, crossed off, and added.  The more children you add to the family mix, the more you have to pull out this list and edit it.  This same technique is administered for any major change in your life though such as moving houses or changing jobs. Duh.

"We are human, and as such, we have limits. Whether you scale back your job, scale back your social time, scale back your self-care, scale back your child care assistance, or scale back your family size—something's gotta give."


In the end I can't tell if she thinks we should just have one child or just do what we want.  I think there are better arguments to be made for only having one child than this article suggests and perhaps further reading would present some of them.  It is all about give and take and whatever your resources and priorities allow.

I know my mommy friends that are one and done are rocking their life choices and it's refreshing to see it work for them and that they don't feel the pressure of social norms to have 2.3 children.  I won't touch on the whole over population, environmental, and human race survival issue argument here.

Also, I know it isn't the message of this article, but she totally misses the point that "one and done" isn't necessarily a choice for most couples.  I'd be a little offended reading this article if my only option was having one instead of thinking "Lucky me, I found my trade off."

What are your thoughts?


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