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Family Planning -- Red light, Green light?

First comes love, then comes marriage...then....

"Are you going to have kids?" --yes, this was never a question for us

"He's adorable, are you having another one?" -- again, yes this was never a question for us because we were so close with our siblings

"You can definitely tell they are brothers, are you going to try for a girl?"  -- No, well, not exactly.  I know if #3 is in the cards for us it definitely isn't so we can get a girl. 

I just honestly don't know if #3 is for us or not...but Holy Baby Fever Batman. I think about it way too much. You see, I am one of those annoying people who would love to be pregnant 24/7.  Seriously, I've said countless times that I'd pay big bucks for a pill form of what ever hormones and levels were pumping through my veins while I was pregnant.  I felt great.  But, that feeling can't go on forever and I need to get a grip on that. I just LOVE being a mom.  It is isn't by any means unicorns, fairies, and rainbows around our house but at the end of the day and at the dawn of each new day I love being a mom and my boys bring me more joy than I ever imagined possible.

Emotionally the answer is Yes
Practically the answer is Not So Much

The cons that run though my head are...
  • Two words...college tuition
  • We'll be outnumbered
  • A bigger vehicle will be needed 
  • The dog might tell us to go to hell
  • One word....adolescence.  These cute little boogers grow up and I've got lots of issues to clear up in my head before that happens.  In fact I can usually send myself into an anxiety attack if I think about my boys in this phase too long and all of the "what if" scenarios.  Too much exposure to my day job is to blame.
  • Most, not all, but most families I've observed with 3 kids have a "bad egg", well not bad, but one just didn't turn out like the rest, usually just was a problem child, etc.
  • What if Middle Child Syndrome really exists?  Poor C.
  • I'm afraid of being greedy.  I've got two amazing boys that are healthy and bright.  I feel extremely guilty for wanting another one.
  • They move out.  It isn't that I fear an empty nest, but more of us not being close to them when they are older.  I don't think I can prepare myself for that much hurt.  Again, this is something I've observed and my heart would just break.
  • Spin off of the empty nest....what happens if we (Scooter and I) put all of this energy into being a family of 5 and can't connect once it is just us 2 again.  Sigh. 
Is my list just irrational fears?

Even with that list of fears I get as giddy as can be when I think about us adding #3 to our family.  I know in my heart what I would like, but still am unsure.  I have always loved a good challenge.

How did you know when you were done having kids? Any experiences with 3?  I'd love to hear your thoughts.

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