Thursday, April 10, 2014

Listen to my Pregnancy Stories!!!

I'm now that mom.

I'm the mom who can't remember squat about what we ate for dinner last Tuesday or if I ran the dishwasher this morning, but if you ask me about any situation I faced during pregnancy or what happened on "the big day" of labor and delivery, I can give you an awesome play by play that would rival Kirk Herbstreit on a Saturday in the fall.

I've noticed something about this, it isn't just me. Most women have this magical gift to recount the love story that is the journey of their first steps into motherhood.  Even if they are horrifically scary or tragic, or a hardcore oxytocin induced trance, they have got their stories down.

My grandmother is 93 years old and can't recall very much these days, but you better believe she can remember all of the times she gave birth and how she craved watermelon so bad in December of 1946 but it wasn't meant to be found at the stores in rural northern Ohio.  My own my mother, who blamed me for ruining her body, recalled with bliss just how beautiful a 10lb. baby girl can be even though she didn't get to hold me for hours because she was so knocked out from her cesarean. "You walked to the nursery and said 'We'll do lunch.'" I remember her often saying. Even my mother-in-law recounts her late summer births without the aid of air conditioning with a smile.  (There's a reason I only have winter babies, me hot + pregnant = torture)

My friends all share their experiences and journeys with me.  My coworkers, elders, and family do the same. Even the sales associate at Gymboree recounted her early days as a mother with me in a very tender way last week while I was shopping.  Being the over-sharer that I am, I have no problem telling my stories to those that want to listen.  I'm eager to listen to others and hear about what they experienced. 

This is a wonderful bond that us women get to share. It is way more special than swapping makeup or fashion tips.  These stories are usually always met with empathy, love, compassion and support.  Even if I begin to judge that mother or her experiences in some way by the end of her tale, I feel her and I are connected in a way and there is an understanding between us.  That is a powerful force among women, one that helps us be the nurturers we are. 

So, if you are ever around me and you say something along the lines of "Did this ever happen to you while pregnant?" Be prepared that you'll definitely get and answer and I'll be smiling on the outside so excited for you and my heart will be warm on the inside getting to recall a precious time in my life.

Just don't ask me when they cut teeth or how many words they said by 2.  Ain't no momma got time to remember that! :)

Easter Baskets for various ages

This post from 2 years ago makes me cringe.  So.much.stuff.  They really don't need that much and the fact I added this post about seven months later reiterated the fact that they don't need that much stuff.  Add on that the boys alone each get 3 additional Easter baskets from extended family and well, we've got too much stuff and missed the reason for the season. So this year, I am pretty proud that I have trimmed it down a lot.  Still have to buy clothes for church though, hmph.

Newborn

Baby Girl has been getting spoiled with packages nearly daily so she doesn't need much at all.  I did replace a few of the toys that didn't make it through her brothers but were a hit with them.
Hallmark Itty Bittys - Ariel (her uncle got her Tinkerbell already)

 

Toddler (age 3)

Now he is 3 and that age is very difficult not to spoil the crap out of, but I'm taking it easy. 
Hallmark Itty Bittys - Sully (He got Mike for Valentine's Day)
Dispicable Me Underware- a reward for finally being potty trained  

 

Young Kid (age 6)

This kid was hard to buy for, he just got a bunch of stuff for teeball, and again as I mentioned in previous posts, I'm trying not to spoil them too much.  

totally bummed they don't have the Star Wars Itty Bittys online anymore for my oldest :(

I'll of course get them all some candy I can steal :)
Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Pro-Tips on Visiting a New Mom

I'm thinking of starting a new series on here called "Pro-Tips"  I consider myself a professional of various things in life.  This might make me more commonly referred to as any of the following: a-know-it-all, full of common sense, not a dumb ass, or just sick of people doing stupid shit.

Anyways, I thought what a perfect way to start off this series than with pro-tips for visiting a new mom.  Now that I've experienced this 3 times, I'm declaring myself a pro (read again: tired of people's shit)


If you are a hospital employee:
  • Ask the mom if she wants to be cluster checked or not.  Some new moms in the hospital need lots of attention, others don't. This being our 3rd time at the rodeo most of the staff got that memo and left us alone understanding that this was our 48 hours of peace and quiet to bond with Tater Tot instead.  Greatly appreciated.
  • Check the frickin' schedule.  Ok, if you come in and ask me when baby ate, and then you come in 1 hour and 45 minutes later see us both asleep and wake me to ask the same question, I'm going to go postal on you.  Especially if you do this multiple times a night.  Also pass this message along to all of those other people that come in the room to poke and prod my baby for various reasons.  I get that you are all on a schedule, but for the love of God waking up my newborn 15-30 minutes before she needs to be is messing with me just to mess with me.  Check on another room first and come back.  K-Thanks.
If you are a family member:
  • Don't refer to visiting the new parents as you "visiting a Bed & Breakfast" for the weekend.  All visitors, particularly ones staying with the parents, should be there to cater and help the parents out.  It's that simple.  By referring to it as a B&B you are insinuating that you are on vacation for R&R and pampering.  Um, not so much.
  • Don't bring f*cking noisemakers for the older/toddler siblings to use.  WTF were you thinking? Great way to have a new mom go ape shit on you.
  • Bring food.  Plan this beforehand, especially if you're staying overnight.  The last thing I want to do is meal plan, cook for you, send my husband to the store, and then clean up after your butt.  At the very least order/pick up take out. You can earn bonus points if you bring a pack of paper plates so I don't have to do dishes.
  • Don't ask the new mom "Did the baby get up last night?"- Really? Seriously did that just come out of your mouth?  That baby is 3 days old you know damn well she got up multiple times and it was my ass that leaped from bed to get her as not to disturb your slumber.--This is also helpful advice if Daddy's snoring dead to the world during the night.
  • Remember your inside voice.  This isn't because I'm afraid it is too loud for baby but rather your loud voice is too much for me to handle in a sleep deprived state.
  • Never grab the baby from the mom.  Never. Ever. Never. Ever.  Rule #1 in the animal world is don't mess with Momma Bear.  You retrieving her baby cub for yourself with out asking can only result in instant death.
  • Nursing takes awhile and it hurts.  This is priority #1 for a new mom to try and figure out so be patient.  Nursing sessions for a new first time mom can last a long time and she'll probably appreciate privacy while trying to get the hang of it.  It still isn't a picnic in the park the first week the 3rd time around either. 
  • Relax on the picture requests.  Remember the good ol' days when you didn't get ultrasounds so the sex of a baby was always a surprise?  Or remember when babies were born and didn't already have a digital footprint on FB of their existence in less than 24 hours of their birth?  Or perhaps you remember having to actually go through the drive-thru film drop off place, getting your roll of film developed in three days to see those sweet pictures of the new baby? Perhaps you are so prehistoric that the birth announcement was the first time you were introduced to the new baby to spread the word to others that you know.  See a pattern here?  Be patient.  You'll get the news and the pictures.  In the meantime twiddle your thumbs and stop nagging for some especially within the first week.
  • Remember what it was like for you as a new parent.  It might have been 30+ years ago were a new mom yourself, but please,  puhleese, take five minutes to channel and remember what an emotional and physical toll it is to be a mom, whether the first time or the fifth time.  It is draining no matter how much of a Rock Star the mom makes it seem like she is.  Be cognizant of that first and foremost.
The flip side to this post is that I have had many family and friends get it right on how to visit.  I am also very moved by the generosity of people showing their support and love for our family. It's not a complete bitchfest here :)
Author's Note: obviously this was written newly postpartum so the truth is what you get
Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Ready for my spring arrival

What a difference a week makes.  I'm still carrying around my little tater tot and she still seems cozy.  I had scheduled an induction for last Sunday/Monday but cancelled it.  It just didn't feel like the right thing to do at that time.  Instead of stressing about it that weekend I enjoyed time with extended family and finally wrapped up the school year working.

Today's appointment gave me a final peek at baby girl before she arrives.  She's doing great and apparently has gotten the message about the Chicken Parmesan because she has plumped up to 8lbs. 9oz. this week.  Although, this isn't my first rodeo with an ultrasound and weight so I'm not getting worked up about any of that nonsense, but the vain mommy in me is glad that my scale hasn't changed but her measurements have.  That's just the way I like it.  I've decided to evict her the first day of Spring, this Friday.  I feel it is time and I'm favorable to respond well to an induction.  I had a wonderfully smooth induction with Cameron (Pork Chop) last time and I'm thinking the same will happen this time and even might be under the 16 hour labor mark.  I'm just so thankful for feeling so well this far along and ready to get this family of 5 underway. 

Hopefully I'll be blogging more too now that I'm done with work until August!  Wahoo!

I just want to keep perspective too.  Unfortunately a couple people I know have had horrible things occur this week and definitely are in my prayers and thoughts.
Friday, March 14, 2014

Due Date Passed

So I'm 2 days passed my due date which is torturous when you've delivered one of your children during 38 weeks.  Perhaps even more torture is when one of the (wacko) doctors in my practice offered to induce me at 38 weeks this time dangling that carrot in front of me.  But alas, here I sit. 

I actually feel really really good and with that I guess I should wait things out and let baby girl bake a little more.  I've had some killer contractions that mostly take place on my right butt cheek which I can't explain and isn't anywhere near my lady parts, but they are horrendous!  Other than that not much action and clearly from the picture below taken on my due date I haven't dropped.  Tater Tot was looking good last week at an ultrasound measuring 7 lbs. 4 oz. which is about 2 lbs. smaller than the boys were at that point.  Thankfully, I  have been feeling smaller so that explains why.  Maybe she's trying to break the 9lb. mark.  I've eaten enough Chicken Parmesan that you think she'd be there by now.

It is hard to be present in the moment for it all.  I was like that for #1.  All gooey and mushy about everything.  I'm just impatient at this point.  And raging full of PMS hormones, if that is even possible but you ladies know what I mean when I say that.  Life working full time and with 2 kids already at home is chaotic but a structured chaos, so trying to plan this out is frustrating.  I do miss how it just all happened naturally with #1.  Knowing this one is my last I'm trying hard to find moments here and there to really relish it before it is all only memories.

At this point I'm going to stick it out another week and see if that gives my little princess enough time to primp herself for her arrival.  I am sure she's just practicing showing me that she's the one who'll be in charge for the most part anyways.


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